I am not looking for a rich boyfriend between 12 and 54. I do not listen to David Gray. My biggest fear is not losing my GHDs. I am not "down for whatever" when it comes to relationships. I don't care which sex in the city character I am like. I do not use "da" and "dat" in replacement of the and that. I don't spend time laughing at "sum stupid fuckr whoz out walkn n dat frezzin dr little ass of." I don't watch stupid videos on youtube of little kids being weird. I don't write blogs with *~*~*Luv 2 ma homiez*~*~* all over them. I don't spend time getting drunk, posting pictures of it on the internet then pasting all over my bebo page how much I love "bein pisd". I don't even have bebo.
I'm not from Glasgow. Or a student nurse, photographer or executive director. I don't cost £65. I'm not a member of reunion.com. And I am certainly not a 36 year old character from a book who starts up a travelling library in Africa, using camels as my transport. My phone number is not 02075393094. I'm not a store director of Specsavers. I'm not an industry strategist and I dread to think what that even means.
Ok, now it actually is me.
^This is what I found when I googled myself. (I'm having a break from revision not procrastinating.)
What worries me, is with this big furore over employers and universities googling people to see if they are suitable, someone might google me and think I actually am a drunken golddigger who can't spell.
I'd like my name back please so I can decor it with a little dignity.
Now when you google, this page will come up.
And all those employers might actually learn the truth.
And next time all the other Fiona Sweeneys google their own names, they will see this page and understand how ridiculous they are making all the Fiona Sweeneys of this world sound.