I am quite literally failing to understand how I am going to make it through the next 3 months.
I know I am only 1 in hundreds of thousands if not millions who have a hard few months ahead, but all the more people to gripe on behalf on.
It's April 16th. Well 34 minutes into April 16th. I have until May 23rd going to school everyday whilst revising in the evening. Trying in vain (well hopefully not in vain) to learn:
1) Loads of theories about how people work and their critiques, not to mention hundreds of studies... and their critiques.
2) Hundreds of crazy German grammar rules. And thousands of crazy German vocabulary words.
3) The plot of Hamlet, French Lieutenants' Woman and Wuthering Heights. Not to mention the characters involved and their roles and effects on readers. As well as the devices the authors use.
How am I ever going to learn all of that well enough to get AAB?
Then 23rd May- 6th June= all day every day revising.
6th- 19th June= EXAMS.
Then oh.my.gosh... my blood pressure will literally drop. My heart will rest at a steady pace. I will stop trembling at the sight of a German word. My hair will no longer stand on end. And I won't feel guilty for actually enjoying life.
That's me wondering if I will get through the next 2 months.
That's only the exam side of things.
How am I going to get through all the other things I can't cope with at the moment?
a) want to be my companion so I'm not lonely anymore
b) want to give me money so I can afford the thing I really need
c) want to find some miraculous cure for the thing I need cured
d) want to tell me whats going to happen in my future so I can stop being so damn worried about it.
e) Pay for Dane to move here so I don't have to lose my best friend for a month.
Haha... the only place you can moan this much is a blog.
Or a diary...
but it doesn't provide much sympathy.
Erm ok quick I think I need a happy list.
Good things happening in the next 3 months:
erm... well this is hard...
1) I'm getting my hair cut on friday (gosh that's pathetic :S)
2) A few good parties coming up
3) It's getting warm(er) and sunny(ier)
Anyone want to give me some happy things to put in my list?
I need just a little happiness...
Oh well. At least June the 19th I will be ecstatically happy. And 19th June-July 19th (ish) I am quite literally bumming around doing absolutely bugger all. :)
Then I'm going to New Wine for 2 weeks :)
Then I'm helping at holiday club :)
Then it's results day :(
That's not going to be fun.
Unless I actually revise and know I've done well.
Then it could be quite fun.
But that so won't happen.
Then I'm going to soul survivor which I am properly happy about. Me, Hannah, Rozi, Laura, Jade, Elisha, Laura, Rozi, Andy, Matt, Ben and Cat :) and probably a few other people I've forgotten... It's gonna be pretty immense really. I just wish it lasted longer than 4 days.
Then a week free to bum around.
Then GREECE. I have many apprehensions about this. But I know it'll be fun.
Unless I've failed my exams.
In which case it won't be so fun.
The 3 weeks of bumming/ packing for uni (hopefully).
And of course the arrival of Baby Bare is so exciting.
Anyway. Then uni. Hopefully.
Which is supposed to be "the best time of your life" yada yada yada. I'm not too sure.
Bye friends, familiarity and family. Don't know if I can cope with that really.
And loads of work to do to.
After my long summer of bumness.
Lol I bet I last 2 weeks!
Haha I am in an incredibly negative mood. Apparently.
Honestly... if anyone wants to help me get through the next 3 months in any way whatsoever then it would greatly be appreciated cos at the moment I really can't see beyond the mountains of work and the general despair.
Why has life boiled down to exams and money?
Seriously, what happened to the good old days when people used to learn things which interested them and didnt have to go to uni unless they were some nerd who was actually clever enough not to have to worry about "getting the grades".
Why cant we just go back to working in factories.
Well writing this blog is successfully putting off the time I have to go to bed. Cos I dont want to go to bed. Cos the sooner I do the sooner it'll be tomorrow. A great theory for days like Christmas eve or the night before Easter, not so fantastic when tomorrow= revision and feeling like utter [insert another rude expletive cos crap isnt quite strong enough to convey the despair]
I wish I had Bernard's watch. With a rewind function.
I'm sure life was never meant to be this complicated or hard.
I feel sorry for all the happy little preadolescents who have no idea what's gonna hit them.
They'll end up suicidal/depressed/plastic/ robots/ constantly dissatisfied/ athiest/ homosexual/government serving machines/slaves/mass murderers by the time they are 20.
Thank God (literally) that there is hope.
Can I have a little bit of it please?