Thursday, May 29, 2008

money money money... must be funny

(n.b that is not my hand, i am definitely not that hairy)

I've been thinking a bit about money lately, mainly due to my overwhelming lack of it, and general lack of it among most of my friends. But then I thought a little bit more... and I thought, there's not really a lack of it at all. Here we are, from our middle class families, with daddy there paying off our university debts. (Ok, I am not talking about all my friends here obviously but I'd say at least half of us live in our cushty little houses). We go out for meals at least twice a month, we buy drinks at parties which cost up to £3, sometimes more, a pop and we don't have to stress too much about producing £300 to go on holiday. Some of us have pretty hefty savings stashed away and some of us are rabid little earners. But we are always moaning about being skint. "Pay day has left me sad." "I can't believe I can't afford that dress/shoes/haircut" "I need money" "I wish I could win the lottery". I've heard it all. I've said it all. And it's just beginning to irk me.(This is where I become rich because I no longer am invited to these parties at which we drink money :P) I'm not going to start the love of money, root of all evil preach because it's not. (The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil) We need to consider the greater implications of harbouring our money and realise it can have consequences that reach further than being considered a tightwad. It's not a diss at anyone in particular, or even a diss at all I just want people to think twice. I know I am one of the worst culprits, I scored 0 in the test for giving (ok only some people will know what that's about but translation- I do not have a talent for being selfless with money). I remember when I earned my £30 a week at the chemist I just could not see why I should give up any of my hard earned (on my hands and knees half the time scrubbing dusty, dirty, 10 year old of date stock) to any charity. I mean, obviously my need for cinema tickets, costa coffees and new jeans was faaaar too important to consider giving any of my precious money to someone else. However I did give my money away (albeit absolute meagre amounts) but I sometimes wonder what was the point. "God loves a cheerful giver" was the message I had to preach to the kids at church last sunday... and I can't help but feel there's possibly noone less qualified to pass on this message. I'd love a change of heart on this matter and sometimes I do feel more strongly about it. At the moment I don't give very much money anywhere because all my money comes from my parents and they give so my warped logic says they've given for me. Pathetic isn't it. I do try to give my time though, because like anyone (well most people) I get that disgust at the injustice of the world. I get so wound up to see that this celebrity here has spent £2million on a new house when there are people, right under their noses, in their very own country, who can't even afford a loaf of bread.
To make a controversial comment, I don't believe anyone has the right to be rich. I believe giving should be in proportion to earning and if anyone has enough money to make them a millionaire then quite frankly, they are keeping too much money to themselves. Being at the top of a rich list, I don't think is anything to be proud of, quite frankly I'd be damn ashamed. How can they swim around in their millions when there are people starving to death and sleeping rough. And why have all this wealth? Would you rather die with a load of money which you can't even use left behind or would you rather die knowing your fortunate situation in life was able to save others' lives?
Redistribution of the worlds wealth, cancelling of third world debts, more generosity and less squandering. Why isn't it happening? Because people like me are selfish and have their eyes shut to the desperate needs of their fellow humans. I think it's time we opened our eyes and stopped forgetting the actual value of that "60 quid I wasted in town".

End of rant.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

lost in a sea of work

I am so bored of revision. Like so bored. My revision timetable is jam packed of absolutely mundane topics that I have to actually sacrifice some of my life to, in order to spend the rest of my life doing anything worthwhile. Deferred gratification. That's the official name for it... when you have to wait before getting something you want. Hmm I suppose the whole of life is just one long phase of deferred gratification.

My mum is watching the news at the other end of the room. I don't quite understand why the newsreader said "Good Evening " at the beginning when actually, if all of today's murders, rapes and wars are anything to go by, then it's not a good evening at all.

I'm also beginning to worry I might die from artificial sweetner poisoning. Oh well, better than dying from obesity I suppose.

Daisy's party was last night and it was really quite funny. I think I actually didn't stop dancing the entire night... I have to say there are two comedy crowns this time round. Obviously the first goes to Daisy for being almost paralytic... incomprehensible and deffo not upright! And second to Georgie:

*Georgie comes into toilet and sprays armpits with toilet spray*
Georgie: "I smell like the ocean!"
Someone else: " No Georgie, you smell like a toilet".

*Georgie comes running into the toilet*
"I would just like to point out that someone is getting with the bouncer. And it's not Georgie!"

Anyway, that was our last bid for freedom before the dreaded exams.

Hmm I am just considering whether there is anything else worth writing about.

I've just been bombarded by siblings. First my brother which was nice... I'm sure he's never done anything more thrilling than looking through all my photos from the last week of school :P

Then Rachel came. Woke me up at some insane hour every morning. And kept me up until some insane hour every night. And used all the hot water. And made me give her lifts all the time. And then complained when I was a snappy bitch. Hmm I wonder why.

The Claire came (yes I am not joking, all 3 in 1 week). Or should I say a super slim version of Claire came. Would have been fine except when she shouted out in front of my mum "you kissed him?! I hope he didn't touch your boobs!". Thanks Claire, thanks a lot. Although she's forgiven for bringing me lots and lots of presents.

And to think last week I was crying cos I was missing them. Careful what you wish for *

* I'm just joking it was lovely to see them again.

The news on the TV has changed and now there seems to be some serious debate over "can leather sofas really be dangerous for you?".

Oh, some very newsworthy news... I actually cleaned out my car. Anyone who's been in it recently will have had to wade their way through books, pens, various other stationery, mouldy orange peel (which wasn't even mine I'd like to point out, apparently my car is being used by my friends as a dustbin), empty grape packets (yea, ok they were mine) and lots and lots of those stick on parking tickets. Anyway, I cleared it all out, even the grapes that had shrivelled up and resembled raisins (no, actually) and put a lot of Febreeze all over it. However, my friends confirmed later that it still smelt pretty bad. And now it is littered with half full beer cans.
So it's now drivable without driver and passengers gagging for the entire journey.

Hmm I so cannot be bothered to go to bed. The news is now just depressing everyone even more by sharing with us the weather for the next week. Thanks.

Some things I love at the moment:

Minimilks- omgsh yum!! and only 30 calories... I swear if I get my grades I will actually write to the manufacturers to thanks them for producing the best revision aids going. I remember last summer they were actually my fave things in the world... now we just need the sun to come back cos let's face it, they are best enjoyed outside in the sun.

The Inbetweeners- If you have not seen this then I command you to NOW download 4OD and watch them all. The funniest TV series ever produced. And scarily accurate (albeit exaggerated) representation of teenage life.

Natcas- This is the code name for Natalie Cassidy's Then and Now workout. Damn, I've let the cat out of the bag now!! Oops anyway, it's amazing. Go buy it. There's nothing like having a break from a morning of revision and then prancing round the living room for an hour... and it just makes you feel so healthy.

Herbal tea- see one of my last blogs about Dr Stuart. Legendary.

Dancing- Oh I love nothing more than a good old prance around at a party :)
And last night was one of the best prance arounds... good tuneage Dais :P

Omgsh I have a severely numb bum.

I need to go to bed because tomorrow I have to get up and help at holiday club. I'm not actually sure yet what that will entail but I do know I have to be there by 9 and it's probably best not to sleep in... again. (We did that last time... *slaps wrist*)

Haha well this is a random blog really. Although I feel I need to keep it updated seeing as people keep coming up to me and telling me that they are reading it... not that I am a procrastination tool for my friends :P


Saturday, May 24, 2008

Random Blog

I feel like I should blog about something just for the simple fact that I haven't blogged about anything for so long.

It's been one of those whirlwind weeks when the only way you are able to keep up is to look at which horrendous photos have been tagged of you and to cringe and sigh "oooh yea, i remember that".

my week has consisted of much surreality, there is nothing more diconcerting than wearing school uniform, which hasn't been worn for 2 years, whilst the rest of the school are in non school uniform. It does serve as a sickening reminder of the past. *shivers*

Anyway. We spent our last German lesson playing the most ridiculous game ever invented (apart from that stupid 21 game we played at Alton Towers, I mean, why would you just keep picking up cards until they add up to 21?!) Ironically, I was the first in the class to obtain my first 'planet ring' despite being so outwardly unenthralled. I felt like a bit of a miserable sod not getting into the spirit of things but how can being asked what the most common painkiller is in German possible constitute fun? (It's an authentic German game in which you answer general knowledge q's in order to obtain planet rings.) Not to mention that in order to reach further than mars, you would have to play for a good 12 hours.

That's us, barely containing our excitement.

We then watched channel hopping auf deutsch:

For anyone who has never experienced channel hopping, it's a collection of the most random, pointless and stupid TV programmes compacted onto a 20 minute programme. The watcher sits, entirely baffled at what on earth is going on... probably the best way to experience the effects of ecstasy without actually popping any pills.

Last night's prom was good fun.

The funniest moment was definitely when Georgie shouted "miss powell actually looks quite nice" and miss powell turned around and said "thanks".
Sod's law.
Of course, the only way to end a night of tweenie drunkeness is with the fire brigade turning up due to some nob setting off a smoke bomb. Clap...clap...claaaaap.
Fed up of missing out on pre party drinks, I invested in some non alcholoic wine. I enjoyed smugly alerting the cashier to this fact when she attempted to ID me. "Have you got any ID?" "Why? It's non alchoholic." *Smug grin*. Not to mention the fact I was with my friend who had just used ID to pay for some real wine. Surely I wouldn't be stupid enough to buy alcohol myself if I didn't have ID when I was with someone who did. Dunces will live on. Actually talking of dunce cashiers, I fuly enjoyed watching the cashier drop a chicken today. Good laughs. Anyway, about this wine, after being scoffed at by Daisy for sipping my 'wine' a funny moment followed when Michelle comes swanning in pours herself a glass and is just about to have a gulp when everyone said 'you do realise it's non alcoholic?' cue Michelle looking overcome with disappointment and she goes 'oh' in a very sad and pathetic way. So moral of the story is: non alcoholic wine just simply isn't cool. It is cheap though.

So talking funny anecdotes, my rabbit was 'in desperate need of water because she will definitely die if you don't go out right this moment, in your pajamas and give her more water' (the joys of having a melodramatic mother). So after making my way halfway across the garden, in the pitch black, I retreated thinking there was no way I'd make it to the rabbit alive. So I came stomping back in (really not in the best of moods, most people aren't after a long day at 11:30pm) I started searching for torches only to discover none had batteries and the ones with batteries didnt work so I went whimpering to my dad who, very macho, said 'I'll go'. 'But dad, it's too dark, you can't see without a torch'. 'I'll be able to'
Famous. Last. Words.
Five minutes later a father appears at the door with one dripping wet bare foot and a missing slipper. 'It's a bit unfortunate I stepped in the pond'. So he went back out and came back a few minutes later with a retrieved very wet slipper. It would be utterly comical except that he managed to cut his leg in the pong (goodness knows how, probably all the piranas lurking) anyway my mum said it was a 'mighty big gash' although I'm inclined to translate that slightly possibly transposing her melodrama slightly.

Today I had a nice visit from my brother who proceeded to tell me many horror stories about getting raped and not going in taxis/toilets/anywhere unless fully accompanied by half of england whilse on my "piss and shag*" holiday in Greece. The only pissing I'll be doing after those stories is with all my friends in the cubicle with me!
*excuse the language

I'm getting slightly disconcerted by the number of photos I seem to be tagged in, on an hourly basis. Since Monday my number of tagged photos has gone from around 350 to a grand total of 506. For someone who runs a mile at the site of a camera, this is an utter mystery. Actually, to be fair I am becoming less inhibited when being photographed as I think looking ugly in photos and being able to remember the event is better than not being in them at all. Jennie showed me pics of her and her friends on the last day of her year 11 and it made me giggle so much, all their 90's hairstyles and high waisted denim shorts. Makes me wonder what my future nieces will think of me and my friends' fashion sense. Will they be saying to me, oh my gosh, you look so 2000's?

I feel very bad for making it 3 days into study leave and having only done 5 minutes of revision. My justification for blogging is 'practising my writing skills' although I am not sure how far writing sarky comments about my life will take me in exams. Thursday afternoon I went for a walk with Jon and then watched the entire series 2 of britains next top model. Friday I slept in then went to town to buy hair dye. I then dyed my hair. Which then went so knotty I nearly chopped it all off.
Something that should just never be done is dying hair 2 hours before a prom. I barely had any around my hairline but still had a little bit of dye on my skin. So I searched on the faithful google for 'how to get dye out of skin'. Toothpaste, lemon juice, shaving foam, shampoo, vaseline and nail polish remover were some suggestions. I tried them all. I'm not sure which was the defining product but after scrubbing my hairline with the entire contents of that list, the dye had mostly faded. Slow clap please.

Then I had the prom. Which was lovely. Lots of people looking pretty in their dresses. Although I will forever grudge having to pay £1.10 for a can of coke. C'est ridicule. And today, after going on the weekly shop mit die mutter I came home and cut out an oversized stick man for useage in tomorrow's sunday schoolness. Anyway, I'm now feeling that familiar feeling of 'not having done enough revision'. I'm thinking it's going to be a fun packed revision week. *groan*.

And now I'm not sure what else to share with the world.

I shall just look forward to my week of revision, working out and sleeping. This seems to be my mundane life nowadays. Luckily it'll only last for another 3 weeks. A thought which fills me half with immense joy an half with immense dread.

Hugs, hot chocolate and a little hope are fully accepted!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Let's talk about acne.

It's no great secret that my skin represents that of a 13 year old. Sadly, spots run in my genes and I am destined to be burdened with them forevermore. I've actually given up trying to blend in my foundation line, cos let's be honest, it's just a fact of my life that I have spots and life is too short to try and feign a flawless complexion.

Anyway, last month, after being asked TWICE by a certain unnamed 7 year old whether I had chicken pox, I thought right, I will try everything to get smooth skin. As long as it doesn't cost more than £2.

And today was a happy day. Instead of pasting on my usual foundation (specially marketed as being for a 'flawless finish') I dug out my tinted moisturisor because I don't actually have many spots to cover. I'm not saying my skin is great, it never will be, but it's a lot better than representing chicken pox.

So, the point of this is actually to share with you a hidden secret in life which really just does not deserve to be so hidden.

Dr Stuart's Extraordinarily Good Tea Skin Purify. (Yes, that is what it's called). This stuff is clear skin in a box.

Admittedly on first gulp I did have to quickly add a zillion sweetners but now I am well accustomed to the taste. However, I suggest you don't attempt to make iced tea with this tea. It turns a magical potion into something very very evil. Just don't even try it.

Sometimes it actually pays to be a gullible victim of marketing campains.

And just an extra note, something to serve as comfort when the spots inevitably return:

"However, the actress added that she still suffers from embarrassing bouts of acne: "I'll look in the mirror and be like, 'Damn, where did that come from?' Seriously! I'm 35 years old. When is this going to stop?!""~ Cameron Diaz

If acne plagues the goddess then it can plague me anyday!!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

it's been a long road

A little of your advice required

Reasons to start drinking again:
1. I'll be able to drink champagne/wine at special events e.g. end of exams, results day
2. I'm going to a club 18-30s holiday in Greece... how can I not drink?!
3. I haven't drunk since I've turned 18... surely that's not normal?

Reasons to stay teetotal:
1. I won't have any embarrassing drunken stories being retold to me at the end of Greece
2. I don't need to drink
3. I might as well carry on.

This is definitely one of those moments when I think something through waaay too much!

i feel evil for finding this so funny:


Monday, May 05, 2008



Possibly just about sums it up.

No, wait...


I am so stressed. (Not that you needed any help in getting that ^)

It's bank holiday monday and I am spending it staring at page after page of textbook, with no idea what Vygotsky's theory of cognitive development actually is and even less do I care. I have no problem when it comes to being motivated enough to revise (honest, this is a scheduled break :S) but my problem seems to be that everytime I sit down and start revising, 5 minutes later I have dissolved into tears at the realisation that I know nothing.
My mum has attempted to give me advice: "do past papers"... yes, mum, I need to learn the stuff first... All the while I am thinking that I just want to be outside in the sun on my bike.

There are so many things bothering me at the moment and I am on the verge of going to bed and refusing to resurface until 2009.
^ That is not an exaggeration.

And school: thanks a damn bunch for my exam timetable.
But don't expect any actual thanks until October, when I am sleeping soundly every night in my own little room in Sheffield.

I always deal with stress by sitting and thinking meticulously about every last detail. Now is no exception:

Exam number 1.
German Oral.
Wednesday 14th May.
I'm actually not particularly bothered about this. Considering I have a bunch of 2 hour exams, 20 mins talking German, like I do every German lesson anyway isn't particularly sending me into a frenzy. I'm revising for this next weekend. And I refuse to think about it until then.

Exam number 2.
Comparing Wuthering Heights with French Lieutenant's Woman.
Friday 6th June.
I don't mind this one. I read Wuthering Heights this week and I don't think I have ever known a book so well. Except The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. Oh and 1 Corinthians. I've entirely forgotten the plot of FLW but I've got it recorded so I'm just gonna watch it.

Exam number 3.
Tuesday 10th June.
9-10:30 am.
So for this exam I have to write 3 essays. Questions 2, 9 and 10. I think. I know the answer to about 1 of the 20 or so possible questions. But this is the topic where revision cues 4 hours of crying. Doesn't exactly make it easy.

Exam number 4.
German Listening and Writing.
Wednesday 11th June.
There are one of two possible outcomes. 1. I don't have a clue what the text is talking about and can't answer a single question. 2. I get the text but don't understand the questions.
It always happens, everytime. In practise so far, I am averaging a D. So... I hate this exam cos I always get confused between fast forward and rewind on the tape player then I lose my place and it all just sounds like gobbledegook. This exam is also infuriating because I always finish early. And the more you listen to the text, the more you begin to doubt your answers....

Exam number 5.
German Reading and Writing.
Wednesday 11th June.
So they collect in our tape players and exchange them for a chunk of text. I am renowned for making blunders on this paper due to my very roundabout way of interpreting the question. Then we have to translate a chunk of english into German. If only I knew my German grammar, I might get above 3/10 (my current average).

Exam number 6.
German Writing. (oh scheiss)
Wednesday 11th June.
This is the sort of exam everyone would dread. We're given a bunch of essay titles then eft to write an essay. Problem number 1: Possible topics include the EU, pacifist wars, the environment and gene technology. I don't know these in English. I'm just praying a question relating to equal rights for women comes up... Problem number 2: The grammar thing again. Problem number 3: 1 hour 15 minutes to write 300 words. It's back to the whole: spendning the extra half an hour staring at your essay and changing things which were right in the 1st place.
And as if these last 3 exams aren't stressful enough, I need a B for each one. Otherwise I won't average out at B and will not go to uni. On the positive side, I need never utter, write or hear another word of German for the rest of my life after 12pm on Wednesday 11th June.

Exam number 7.
English- Hamlet.
Wednesday 11th June. (yea, don't worry about it, I don't mind spending my entire day in a little stuffy classroom, writing in 3 different languages (that'd be english, german and shakespearean) with only an hour and a half in between, that's fine)
1:30-3:45 (yes, i kid you not, this exam does last two and a half hours.)
To quote Georgie: Hamlet-omfgsh.
She's not wrong. We're not allowed to bring the play in with us. I don't even know the flaming plot let alone specific quotes. This exam really could be the death of me. I am quickly going to have to learn to become ambidexterous so I can swap hands every 10 minutes.
But it's not just Hamlet. No cos that would be too kind. After racking our brains to remember 'Ophelia' (not any of the other things she's been called) we then have to transform a text into a different text. Like a poem into a newspaper article. I actually think this is kinda fun. If I had an exam where I just had to do that, it's be cool.
But no!
We then have to write a commentary and explain our choices in what we've changed. Comparing it to the original text.
Allow that. (damn, I can't :S)

Exam number 8.
Monday 16th June.
What's that I see in the distance? Oh yes, it is a gleam of hope. Only 2 more exams to go. I am sure however, that this gleam will become distinctly dim within the first half an hour of this exam.
There are 2 positive things about this exam.
1) I have 4 days before it to revise solidly.
2) We've already memorised the answer to on question. Which knocks of 40 mins ofthe exam, cos that'll be spent just writing out the answer.
But there's still the negative:
I don't have a flaming clue what any of the answers are.

Exam number 9. Last and least.
English the "kill me now and save me the pain" synoptic paper.
Thursday 19th June.
1:30- 4pm. (That's not a joke)
I'm not sure how to cope with this one. My best suggestion so far has been to don a cape and run up and down the street screaming "crrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppp" until gaining enough speed to take off with which you can fly away to a distant land where the sy- syn- syno (nope cant bring my self to say it) exam doesn't exist.
Any suggestions slightly more feasible is welcomed.
Basically we write a big fat comparison of 3 different texts, usually on thrilling subjects such as "insects" "the sea" and "mining". (Those are real examples).
Once again, I could cope with this.
But then we have to write a commentary about the "approaches" we've used. Although I'm not sure the examiner will appreciate it if I describe my approach of attempting to fly away. And i'm not really sure what other approaches there are.
This exam should definitely be retitled: Doom. Forget all this fluffy 'synoptic' crap. Let's just be real about this. Unless you have a mega brain/ teacher who can actually teach, you are doomed.

Friday 20th June.
I won't lie that it is just too tempting to go out and get lashed. But I'm waaay too geeky for that. Instead, I am going to read all 8 of my baptism books. Then I'm gonna start on the classics beginning with Great Expectations or something. And do this reading outside on a sun lounger.
I'm gonna go out on my bike everyday.
Might go up north for a bit.
Gonna finish writing my novel.
Gonna watch loads of crappy films and TV progs.

Ahh it's gonna be a good few weeks.


Wow, that was a pretty satisfying exam freakout.

Saturday, May 03, 2008


perhaps this link will make up for the fact my last entry is so boring:

says it all really.

one whole week

Brooke: "You haven't updated your blog for a while"
Me: "I'm trying to go a week without, just to prove I'm not addicted"
Brooke: "Nah... you should just blog"
Me: "But I was kinda thinking my next blog would be about how I haven't blogged for a week"
Brooke: "So let me get this straight, you are not blogging for a week just so you can make a blog about how you haven't blogged. O-Kaaay"

Haha. Yea, that doesn't really make any sense. But at least it's official: I'm not addicted. *shifts eyes* haven't even thought about blogging at all this week *cough. cough*

So last night's party was pretty jokes really. I wouldn't like to disgrace my blog with the details so I won't. Some horrendously funny stories which I know only Brooke would find funny so I won't write them on here. I was a bit of a camera whore really, but I'm paying for it today with all the dodgy photos.
Sadly there was not much gossip caught on the sober spyware radar. Guess that's what happens when you have to pay for drinks.
Best moment by far: when a drunken (nameless) person came up to Andy to dirty dance with him and he literally turned and ran away with the best expression ever lol. Good old Andy!

Er... so got my exam timetable this week. 9 exams. I shall remain calm... (repeat with me)

This morning I cleaned out the river because of this:

I have been having a battle with my computer this week. It really doesn't want me to be able to use the internet. Just what I need. It's ok at the moment (funnily enough) but probabaly won't last. However, when on my mum's laptop I did discover my extra cool font didn't work and so I've changed it now. Cos everyone really needs to know that.

Am moment, I am painstakingly removing red eye from hundreds of photos. :(

This blog is really boring.

This week has just been amazingly uneventful (which is probably why I've been able to refrain from blogging).

Yea, that's about it really. How pathetic.