Tuesday, June 17, 2008

blogging etiquette

so, blogging being the new big thing and all, i came across an article about how to blog. now, i didn't realise that there actually is a way to blog, i just figured some people write entertaining blogs and some people, just don't. but there are professors in blogging (apparently) who give their expert advice on how to get people to read your blog.

1. Make your opinion known. Not being funny, but what do they actually suppose a blog is. It's hardly a list of facts that's for sure. Even I realise noone is going to sit and read a blog post that reads "an apple from sainsburys costs 50p. from asda it would cost 49p. but from tesco it is 30p"
2.Link like crazy. a) is my blog not good enough? b) links take time to insert... actually spending serious amounts of time blogging steps dangerously close to computer geekage... number one rule of blogging is that real life happens first c) how many blog readers actually bother clicking on links in blogs? i dont thats for sure. it'd mean what you were writing was actually compelling enough to fuel further reading, and if you ask me (slipping my opinion in there like a good girl) that's a lot of pressure for one little blogger.
3.Write less works for some. not for me. i blog because i like words, not so that i can try and use less of them.
4. 250 Words is enough i quote my dad "you could write 200 words in your sleep". why limit yourself? word limits apply to coursework, exams and stalky emails to guys you fancy. that is all.
5. Make Headlines snappy no, make your first line snappy. heck, make your whole damn blog snappy.
6.Write with passion yes, i am so passionate about my exams. my heart is ablaze with joy as pure as gold at the prospect of each glorious second i shall spend exploding my knowledge upon the clean blank slate that lays before my on the wonderfully crafted wooden tabletop. nope, i'm not feeling it either.
7.Include Bullet point lists

things i've done this week:

  • watched the apprentice (and hollyoaks, and holby blue)
  • taken some pics
  • gone on facebook
  • eaten some fat juicy strawbs from the allotment
  • drank copious amoun ts of diet coke
  • travelled to stafford and back
  • revision

done. come on now, honest opinion, was that really an amazing, blogworthy attribute to my blog? no, i didn't think so either.

8. Edit your post
dose thia realy needto go in s list£ surly youd makesure it mdae sense aynway to aviod it lookiong likethis?!
9. Make your posts easy to scan how exactly do you do that? number the paragraphs then write "if this paragraph is too boring, skip to paragraph number 6?"
10. Be consistent with your style my blog reflects my mood. my moods are not consistent. consequence- my blog is not consistent. but i'd rather it was real. and anyway it's always going to be consistent to some degree unless you happen to suffer from multiple personality disorder, in which case i'm sure youd be forgiven. but surely itd be boring if it was too consistent...
11. Litter the post with keywords ooh like subliminal messaging. buy today was fi a good day really, i went chocolate shopping. mmm maybe that's not what it means. erm... oh it's ok i just read the accompanying explanation. it's so people can search and find your blog. ok so i guess my keywords are "welcome mr weirdo stalker to my blog. glad you found this by searching for my keywords now please dont cyberrape me".


Scrap those rules and make cyberworld a better place by following mine instead:

Fi's rules for blogging:
1. Don't make spelling mistakes that are stupid enough to make your maths teacher/little sister/german penpal cringe.
2. Be funny. Sarcasm= tick. Well told anecdotes= tick. Punchy comments= tick.
3. Write whatever and however the heck you want. Don't try to adhere to a list of rules. The whole point of a blog is to be creative and the world could do without intellectual idiots curbing all the creativity with formulaic instructions on how to be creative.

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