Friday, July 18, 2008

The Lancaster Adventure

Just keep saying it with me... "life would be boring if it wasn't crap and complicated" I seem to be reassuring myself with these words on a ridiculously regualar basis, so if you'd like to be a companion to my complaining then I welcome you with open arms.

Anyway, my week... like absolute emotional whateverthewordis. There were definitely a few times I thought I'd die/lose sanity/hibernate etc...

Firstly, what they say is true- Lancaster is not the most desirable place to live (now, this is a watered down version of my true opinion as I am risking ever being talked to by my sister again by writing this) http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Lancaster says it all really, at least all that I'd want to say... but apart from that, a town with more Subways than churches speaks for itself. I eventually got there, (the usual train journey with smelly, loud people, you know the drill) and had to walk about 3000 miles to the Lancaster campus. After another 50 miles across campus we went into the stench chamber which is apparently actually a kitchen, but I couldn't make out the kitcheness through all the mould. Monday evening we went out to Lancaster town... "Toast" was definitely an improvement on Skanky Hoes (aka Smokey Joes, Maidenheads best offering of drunken studentness). I was upset to find the next morning I no longer had half of my phone and a mortified a few days later when a randomer said "Oh, I remember you"... something about a hat and a kebab shop... anyway, don't get me wrong, it was all innocent fun... for some of us at least... it confuses me a hell of a lot when a lesbian and a gay get off with each other... apparently it's not sexual, it's 'just fun'. I'm not gonna let my mind wonder that any further... so that was monday night. I 'slept' in the living room in the student halls. It worried me slightly the next day when Rachel said "did you wake up with anyone next to you?" I replied "what?! No!!" and then realised she actually meant her flatmate who had been sleeping for the past 2 weeks where I had slept.

Tuesday and all that happened on Tuesday will forever remain top secret which noone shall ever know about. Apart from the secret stuff, me and Rach went back to her old house to get all her stuff which was left in her old house. It was all in the dark damp basement, cue us coming up and down ome rickety stairs carrying up boxes of mouldy crap for an hour or two. As if I wasn't already dead enough, Rach then took me to her Taekwondo class where I did a lot of kicking. If anyone tries to attack me now, they'd better watch out cos I know self defence :P
So we moved all of this crap to the "summer house" which in my opinion is just a brick tent. It took us 3 days to figure out how to turn the shower on (definitely don't ask if I showered at all cos the answer is not nice), I had to go on a whole shopping trip just for bog roll, Rach couldn't find the kettle so we had to make tea and coffee with a saucepan. I should really have cleaned it first as baked beans flavoured hot chocolate is the definition of rank.

Wednesday we went to Manchester and got our haircut and shopped. We went to Affleck's Palace which is some alternative shopping centre where they sell bongs and studded belts. Ironically, everyone who goes there does so in order to buy unique and unconventional clothing, yet everyone inside looks the same with the same sort of goth/emo/nurave look going on and actually, they aren't being original at all.

Thursday we went into Lancaster and 'shopped' before seeing Wanted and Hancock. Both good films except it was so, so cold in the cinema I have nearly lost all 10 toes to frostbite.

Friday (ie today) Rachel stayed in bed till 1 with a roaring hangover, I got up at 10 and tidied the house. Then we went into Lancaster again, I got my nose pierced totally on the spur of the moment then we went to what we thought was an NHS walk in centre but was actually a needle exchange centre for druggies, so I was careful not to touch anything while Rachel tried to explain she wasn't a druggie and just wanted to see a doctor and then I came home (another long boring journey with the mandatory platform alterations at Wolverhampton leading to dashing up a thousand stairs with a heavy suitcase and the typical falling asleep on the train and nearly missing the stop.) I did however manage to finish my books which is great, 5 baptism books down, 2 to go!)

I know it doesn't sound "killmenow" worthy but it's been a hard week emotionally. I've had to make some tough decisions (which I have still not managed to make), accept some harsh truths and put up with some tedious health problems and all of that added onto my tenous emotional state at the best of times and looming results which I CANNOT relax about and it is really really a recipe for disaster.

Anyway as much as I love my sister (even if I can't do anything 'right') I am so glad to be home where I have a kettle, heating, toilet roll, the internet, a TV, friends, sheets on my bed (actually I don't but at least I have the choice to!), MY stuff and just general maidenheadness which is amazingly easy to miss. Sadly, I only have all of this until Friday at which point I subject myself to a fortnight's worth of kettle, heating, loo roll, internet, tv and bed lacking all over again.

So, just join with me once again, "life would be boring if it wasn't crap and complicated".

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