Sunday, August 24, 2008

Worry and Other Things

Just a forewarning that if you think I'm sulky and moany then don't read this post cos it'll only confirm your views and make you roll your eyes...

It's not too promising, sitting in my bedroom surrounded by absolute chaos; half packed suitcases (3 at the moment), half drank cups of coffee (9 at the moment), half read books (6 at the moment) and just general rubbish which hasn't made its way to the bin. And somehow over the next 4 weeks it has to come into some sort of order. However, my restriction is not time, rathermore my credentials as a lazy arse. And the motivation of university isn't quite enough to get me to move, as I am more frozen with fear then fuelled with excitement.

Next week is the final arrival of the "piss and shag holiday". Despite recent news reports advising to run as far as possible from the place we are going, my quest for sun would extend to the dangers of the sun itself and therefore I'm going to ignore the *cough* small dangers of the place we are going.

I think I should probably be worried that the only remotely sunny item of clothing I own is age 6-7, from the days before just looking outside made me cold. But life (and financial supply) is too short to do much, so I will make do with my one bikini (which I have owned for a year and a half and worn once) and spend the rest of the time in bed.

I'm also worried about my Euro supply; note to self: 50 year old mothers do not understand that a night out costs. I am also worried about my lack of bikini body. Or more the fact that I am just too lazy to de-fuzz, moisturize and fake bake. And as for the wobbliness, it'll only get worse through the week with alcohol and crisp consumption so I may as well embrace it. And I say that with less sincerity then I think I've ever said anything.

So just this week to get through, trying to make some halves into wholes and trying to make myself semi presentable for wearing exposing clothes.

Then 2 weeks after Greece to spend worring about more things. I was a bit scared I was going to explode with worry so last Wednesday I wrote a list of things worrying me just about starting uni (not even mentioning stuff at the moment or stuff abou Greece or stuff before or after uni). 44 things. Although I just keep trying to point out to myself that at least I'm going to the uni I want to go to with 44 worries, not some craphole I've been dumped in through clearing. And as long as I don't think about those 44 things then I don't feel too much like I'm going to shrivel up and die. But that's why those 2 weeks are so dangerous, too much time to think about them. See, I really do worry so much that I worry about the amount I worry.

Anyway I'm still in my PJs and it's 6 oclock so I'm thinking I should make myself look like I've washed even though I'm actually a smelly beggar. So I'm gonna go and sulk and be negative while I dry shampoo my hair and listen to songs about rain and bridges and wonder how I'm gonna cope when I'm in this sort of mood and am in Sheffield, 3 hours away up from anyone who gives a damn.

1 comment:

Laura said...

Get out my head!! haha. I think you've literally summed up everything that I have been thinking over the past few days, although I'm not going to Greece, however before I went to Florida I was thinking the same thing!
I figure that actually all these worries and stuff that I've been storing up are actually perfectly normal... although I agree that that doesn't stop you thinking about them at all... plus we have another major help in the form of the big G who is always there to lend us a hand, and annoying know's what will happen at anytime of the day, month or year.
It freaks me out sometimes knowing that He already know's who I'm gonna meet and who's gonna become my really close friends etc, but it also brings me comfort knowing that God wouldn't leave me on my own, or make me meet people that aren't good for me!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though you are worried, and I definately am still, the big G is totally in control, and He know's what's best for us. He's also there to hug us when we need it and to help us through. Infact I shall pray for a Fiona sized hug for him tonight. and indeed I shall send you a virtual one now *hugs*.
Now I think I shall finish my essay as my laptop battery is dying, but remember to keep smiling, you'll look back on this post and laugh!!
Laura xxx