Tuesday, October 27, 2009

on a night like tonight you bring me to life






This is Lodge Lane; a long windy lane with a 15% incline which me and Jess whizzed down last night. I was cacking myself... it was pitch black, there were some angry looking cows chilling out along the way and I thought I was gonna go head over handlebars. Jess, on the other hand, was loving it. For the rest of the way back I peddled for my life along the pitch black Manchester Road while Jess casually stopped every so often to look at the stars. It was so beautiful though, you can see all the way down into the valley which Manchester road runs through and the city lights are even more beautiful the higher up you spectate from.


Other Side of Day~ Bebo Norman


Was it You who spoke the earth to be?
And wrapped it all in mystery
For the taking
For the taking
Is it Thee who turned away my soul?
From evidence so beautiful
That You gave me
That You gave me
When I’ve fallen in the shadows of the sun
Only You remain the hope on what’s to come

Cause on a night like tonight
You bring me to life
And remind me there’s another side of day
Where I will see all that You are
More than a sky full of stars
And the worries of this world will fall away
On the other side of day

Is it time that gets the best of us?
Reminding all the rest of us
That it’s fading
Yeah, it’s fading
Oh, but You still hold the hands of time
And pave the way to paradise
Can You take me?
Can You take me?
Cause the world is just a shadow of the sun
Only You remain the hope of what’s to come

Cause on a night like tonight
You bring me to life
And remind me there’s another side of day
Where I will see all that You are
More than a sky full of stars
And the worries of this world will fall away
On the other side of day

Where all who are alone
Finally make it home
To a world of wonder
Where love is not a lie
And all who seek will find
Their search is finally over

Cause on a night like tonight
You bring me to life
And remind me there’s another side of day
Where I will see all that You are
More than a sky full of stars
And the worries of this world will fall away
On the other side of day


Friday, October 23, 2009

there's a point concealed in here somewhere

"In my Father's house are many rooms... I am going there to prepare a place for you" ~ Jesus

Rollercoasters, chocolate, back to back viewing of Smallville, kissing in the rain, shopping at Liverpool One, nights in front of the fireplace, the Xfactor final etc etc... all very fun in their own right but none of these give me even a fraction of the kicks I get out of walks, cycles and drives with no destination. There's something about putting one foot in front of the other and simply following my nose which captures my imagination and sense of adventure and to walk aimlessly with no knowing what is around the corner is what, for me and my sheltered past experience of the world, is the epitome of adventure.
I love the thrill of walking through woods; discovering water, the eerie rustling of the trees and unwalked paths.
I love the fear of solitary nightwalks; invisible to the world, silent lanes and views of the city lights.
I love the excitement of getting lost; turning down roads with no knowing where they lead, walking in a straight line hoping to have walked a circle and looking for any sign that points to a familiar place.
I love how a mile turns to 10, how for every uphill hike there's a downhill trot and how nobody knows where I am or where I'm headed, including me.
I love my ipod playing in my ear, a piece of unwritten writing forming in my head and how by the end of the walk the solutions to all life's problems seem so much clearer.
I've seen so many intriguing things on walks such as these. Tonight alone I had the excitement of a fox, a fight and a road called Carsick Hill Road.

The thing is though, no matter how aimless I intend the journey to be, there is always an end destination- home. It never really is a journey with no destination.  Despite all the excitement, when my legs start to ache so much I can barely take another step, when I'm so desperate for some refreshment, and when it's all getting a little dark and scary, I just want to end up back at that safe place that's home.
And I realise how much those walks are like life- it's exciting, I experience so many unexpected things, I never know what's around the corner, at times I'm wandering aimlessly and a lot of it is spent off track but when it starts to get a bit tiring and frightening, I remember that I am always heading to the end destination- home.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

growing

So just to totally and utterly steal Rachel's blog style, I wanted to share a few things in my life at the moment that are growing...

1) My faith














2) My sense of adventure










3) My friendships










4) My hair (!)













5) My social awareness













6) My journal collection














7) My self- esteem












"My life is not what I thought
I'm not where I planned to be
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world

I need to let go of my destiny
I need to trust in things unseen
I believe in having faith
So I yield my control

I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same

I'm embracing all of my fears
I am watching them turn to delight
The very fears which were gripping my mind
Are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dreams" ~ Kutless

Monday, October 12, 2009

we reach for more

Reaching- Carolyn Arends

There’s a time I can recall
Four years old and three feet tall
Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar
And both were out of reach
And later on in my high school
It seemed to me a little cruel
How the right words to say always seemed to stay
Just out of reach

Well I should not have thought it strange
That growing causes growing pains
‘Cause the more we learn the more we know
We don’t know anything
But still it seems a tragic fate
Living with this quiet ache
The constant strain for what remains
Just out of reach

Chorus
We are reaching for the future
We are reaching for the past
And no matter what we have we reach for more
We are desperate to discover
What is just beyond our grasp
But maybe that’s what heaven is for

There are times I can’t forget
Dressed up in my Sunday best
Trying not to squirm and to maybe learn
A bit of what the preacher preached
And later lying in the dark
I felt a stirring in my heart
And though I longed to see what could not be seen
I still believed

I guess I shouldn’t think it odd
Until we see the face of God
The yearning deep within us tells us
There’s more to come
So when we taste of the divine
It leaves us hungry every time
For one more taste of what awaits
When heaven’s gates are reached

Repeat chorus

I believe that’s what heaven is for
There’s a time I can recall
Four years old and three feet tall
Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar
And both were out of reach


Friday, October 09, 2009

the world's looking sunny

"There's A Change For A Better A Change For Good
I'm Changed For The Better I Am Changed For Good
The World's Looking Sunny
Cause That's What You Do To Me" (Natasha Bedingfield)



Tuesday, October 06, 2009

...and i thought...

Last night, overcome with stress and busy-ness and with the ceiling of my bad news threshold well and truly battered, I went in search of some peace and solitude away from the craziness of my house and the emptiness of my bedroom. I went to my favourite place for contemplation: Bole Hill. There I sat with my ipod playing in my ear, my legs tucked under my chest and my hood pulled up, I thought 'it's just you and me God' and I proceeded to contemplate as I looked out at the city lights and tried to forget that there was any place in the world other than there. What did I contemplate? I thought about those I love so much who have walked away from God. I thought about myself; my insecurities, my character, my faith. I began to wonder why I'm here in Sheffield, doing this degree (a danger it seems for anyone who dares to contemplate). I wondered what it is that always brings me back to the same old habits of coping and I contemplated the seeming elusivity of freedom. I thought about my fears and my friendships. I thought of those I know suffering at the moment, in their various ways. As I stared out at the city, I thought about all the people in the lit up houses and wondered what they were doing, what they believe in, what they'd fight for. I thought about this next term and how things seem to be heading. I thought about all the people I know, all the things I do, all the places I love. I thought about heaven. I thought I should like many moments like this in heaven, when I can sit in utter stillness, invisible to the world yet fully present in the sight of God. I thought all these things and I got confused. But most of all, I thought these thoughts are so much bigger than me, so much deeper than a mind of matter should let me delve and it made me grateful that there's One who is bigger than me and deeper, who can understand all these thoughts and feelings that I just can't.