Tuesday, December 22, 2009

feels like a traditional christmas + snow

pics i've taken so far these hols:

^warm, cosy fire



^ spontaneous midnight snow walk


^ whichever season, fave place in the world= riverside


^ treats for my friends to devour, and devoured they were!


^ "sit here a while and enjoy"... many a time i have done this


^en route to church, perfect welly weather



^ my dream house

^ the teddy jess made donning the scarf i knitted

^ something jess can do better than me

^ something i can do better than jess

^the park of many memories and hopefully many more to come

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

masquerade

inert... unsure of what hurts the most


sat transparent and just a ghost.

familiarity or mere contempt?

before... a meagre prelude of this attempt,

devastation descended this time,

whose arms left in which to confide?

confession tainted with masquerade,

lies and ruse... the truth to evade

who can grasp the depth of this?

quite how dark it is within the abyss?

confronted with faith of what this depicts,

every sign is justification to convict.

withered parts of heart left only to bring,

damaged and worthless through everything .

then a million dreams in one come true

a vulnerable explosion of many hues.

til reverie shattered into innumerable parts,

how to mend a trampled heart?

worst is no choice but for it to be this way,

by-product brokenness yet integrity stayed.

the rawness protests never again,

after once enough pain remains.

struggling on to make it through,

glimpses of pink but forever blue.

Monday, December 14, 2009

4 weeks without

Only one week to go until the holidays. This time next week i'll be 20 years old, 200 miles away from Sheffield, and waving goodbye to Jessica for 3 weeks...
which got me thinking about all the things I'm going to be without for the holidays.
4 weeks without:
* having to take the bins out at stupid o'clock because i forgot to do it when it was still light enough not to trip over next door's cat
* having to spend my well earned student loan on food and mundane toiletries like toilet roll
* having to stand out in the rain for 15 minutes until 3 buses turn up at once just to pay for the privilege of smelly men and kids playing chav music only to get hurled around trying to push past all the people who stand in the aisle
* having to get up at 7:30am to make a 9am lecture about something that may as well be in japanese for all i understand
* opening the fridge to find an open packet of bacon resting on top of my lettuce
* being called jess, being confused with jess and generally feeling second best to jess
* getting subtly hinted at about the soap suds in the shower cubicle/ the dead plant i left in the kitchen/ my shoes left lying around/ making too much noise
* suffering from housemate abuse
* coming down for breakfast to find various bodies residing under a duvet on the sofa
* having 6 other people within earshot of me belting out emo songs on my guitar
* getting woken up by drunk people walking past my window
* hearing the word 'bills' 'heating' and 'washing up'
* having to keep my bedroom somewhat tidy for when people come over
* having to phone home
* having to climb a flight of stairs just to get to the living room
* hills.

Every cloud...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

not a day without his unfolding grace

"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."

~ 2 corinthians 4:16-18